The reason I set up Mum2Mum Penarth was primarily for mums to be able to meet up with each other without their kids and have a proper break. We all know how hard it is to chat properly to another mum at playgroup or on a playdate, so I thought if I created a space where mums could come and have a proper chat, without distractions, this could really help mums.
The idea also stems from struggling with motherhood myself, and I know that when I get the time to properly chat to other mums, it can make a huge difference to my day – whether it’s just getting things off my chest and having a rant (often!), another mum totally getting that I’ve had a crap morning at nursery drop off, or hearing me out and saying that she understands how I am feeling.
A lot of the time, as mums, we are just with our kids for company. I am lucky to work part time and have a balance of having a break away from the kids and being with them. But on my days off, I find those days tough, not always but probably about 50% of the time. And it can be lonely and boring – yep I said it, I find being a mum boring sometimes! This boredom and loneliness can then manifest itself in low mood, overthinking, anxiety, pointless scrolling on social media (which makes me feel worse), frustration, unhealthy food choices, shouty mum, zero patience and just a general brainfog.
How do we get out of this feeling?
Well getting out and about more is a good thing and it does make the day go quicker. My kids are generally better behaved out and about than in the house, though my 20 month old does not like being in the buggy, so I will often have my head down with a grimace on my face while he is screaming his head off in the buggy – I can’t take him out of the buggy because we would never get anywhere/get home!
And self-care. Do not underestimate the power of self-care! It can take many different forms and is different for everyone.
Self-care to you may be time with your friends chatting to them over coffee. Ringing up your best friend for a long overdue chat/rant. It might be reading magazines and journalling in bed. It might be meditation with lavender essential oil in a diffuser. It might be preparing your favourite meal for yourself and buying yourself a bunch of flowers. These are all things that you can do by yourself or with others.
It’s also important for us to have that alone time, and some of us are more introverted than others. Some of us get our energy from being with others, whereas others get drained by too much socialising and need that time to decompress by ourselves. Or you can be somewhere in the middle of course!
The point is that you prioritise yourself, so that you can be the best version of yourself. When you prioritise yourself – THEN – you can give to others and not the other way around – trust me I learnt the hard way!